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Thursday, 31 May 2007

Changes

Okay, so I've changed the look of this page (at least, I think I did). I don't really have much of an eye for color, especially at 3:42 AM. I just put together something that looks nice and unassuming. If any of you have any suggestions, or if my crass choices in color schemes are too crude for your sensibilities, please let me know.

Also, upon further deliberation, I decided that I'm going to keep this page to only dreams. I might just keep my random thoughts to myself, or put those up on a separate page.

Anyways, the most recent dream I had is not worth telling. All I know is that it involves the Simpsons, as Bart and Lisa tried to save their parents from a madman with a gatling gun in a snowstorm on a mountain ridge.

Monday, 28 May 2007

Ninjas+Balloons+Nuclear Weapons

A couple new dreams from last night. Some of them were just fragments, but there were a few semi-coherent stories.

I was training to be a ninja. Now, ninja abilities are pretty cool, but I don't think they really apply to real world job skills (unless your job involves you jumping around, running on walls, and generally being awesome). The first step of ninja training was avoiding attacks. I walked into the room, which looked like an ordinary office room, with drab carpets and fluorescent lights. Standing there were a group of people, including Gideon L. He said "I'm sorry about this, Joel", then smiled, and all of them started throwing darts at me. I weaved this way and that, avoiding all their projectiles.

Afterwards, I went to a row of tables. At the first table were two potted plants. My instructor, Elaine W, told me that I had to follow her in jumping these plants over and over, in order to maintain my coordination and flexibility. So we did just that, leaping over the plants again and again. Next, I had to test my endurance. A big platter of food was brought out. I was told by Elaine that I had to eat all the Ma-po tofu there without stopping for rest. They also provided spicy chicken wings. Vicky L was there to help me finish the food.

That was the extent of my ninja training. Now the dream shifted gears to the city, where the battle was already taking place.

We were losing the battle badly. Invaders were coming in from everywhere. Our only hope was a tactical nuclear strike. We couldn't do it with all these civilians around, though. So we loaded them all up onto our barracks, and prepared for lift-off. We tied on scores of balloons to provide lift.

Everyone was on board except for my confederate, who said that he had to cut the ropes to let us go. I shouted that if he did that, he'd remain behind, and the nuclear strike would kill him. He thought this over for a bit, then called over a little kid. He told the kid that it was his responsibility to cut the rope to let us go, and that this was a big responsibility. He then jumped on board the structure.

The kid cut the rope, and we started to sail away. Just then, the nuclear bomb that we had planted in the heart of the city went off, culminating in a little brown mushroom cloud. As the winds shifted, we glided away.

There are more parts to this dream, including something involving Albert Han, but I don't remember them.

Sunday, 27 May 2007

Flame!

Been a while since my last dream entry, huh? It's not that I've had no dreams to record. Far from it, in fact; I have several bizarre tales spun from the madhouse of my nocturnal mind. I've just been lazy. Here's a short one from a couple nights ago.

I was in an unfamiliar house, filled with unfamiliar things. There were lampshades, books, and furniture strewn helter-skelter around the house. I spied before me a beautiful ornate wooden table. Atop it were scraps of paper, collections of oil-soaked rags, chunks of wax, containers of gasoline and kerosene, and other deliciously flammable objects. Bottles of different types of alcohol (whiskey, tequila) were scattered on the table.

My two compatriots and I spied this singular assortment with great delight. One of these men was my good friend Albert W; the other remains a mystery. We decided to have some "fun" with these new toys. We started tearing through the rags, spraying combustible fluid everywhere. We used enough fluid to light up the house like a bonfire, which was our intent. Certainly not a smart idea, but we are idiots, after all.

Unfortunately, things did not go as planned. Instead of setting the house on fire, we managed to burn our clothes instead (which would have happened regardless, but was not our immediate goal). I remember the flames burned ghostly white, with no heat or sound. It was a tad unsettling.

Haha, wow. What a weird story. But that's not the weirdest I've ever had.

Saturday, 05 May 2007

Summer Missions

So, for this summer, I will be going on missions with my fellowship, In Christ Alone. I'll be going on a program called VSET (Volunteer Summer English Teachers). I will be spending two months of my summer (mid-June to mid-August) in Asia. The VSEt team will mostly be teaching English to middle and high school students, using that as a way to build relationships and hopefully share the gospel.
If you would like to help support me, there are two things you can do. First would be to pray. Pray for me, that I will remain dependant on God. I can't do this alone; I need God's help to carry me through. Pray for our team, that this will be an amazing experience of growth, and that we will be able to see God working in the world. Pray for our students, that we will be able to build meaningful relationships with them.
The other way you can help is through financial contributions. The trip will cost $3200, which will cover airfare and other expenses. If you can give anything at all, I would be very thankful. Anything will help!
If you're interested in helping me in either capacity, please contact me through email, facebook, or cell phone.
Have a blessed day,
Joel

Saturday, 07 April 2007

Dedicated to the People I Love.

I was reading facebook before I went to sleep, and read a note that my friend wrote. She was angry, angry to the point of violence. Her rage was directed towards all the people who disparaged her, who attacked her, who spread rumors about her. She felt that they had no right to say or think such things, that it was none of their business what she did. Reading this gave me pause, and made me think...

There are people in my past who made me feel worthless, unwanted, less than. I remember times when I felt wronged or hurt. I remember those little groups, those circles where people felt most comfortable. I wanted to be there, but I guess I always missed the invitation. Maybe it wasn't offered to me in the first place. There were times when I felt invisible, when I felt that I didn't matter. "Don't people notice?", I thought. "Am I really that easy to forget?" I felt lonely, and furthermore I felt that I should be lonely, that I had no right to ask for companionship or friendship. I felt that such joys were meant for better people.

So, to all the people who made me feel rotten or horrible or sad, I just want to say one thing: I forgive you. I forgive you for the hurts and pains that you inflicted on me, whether intentionally or not. I say this not to recover some moral high ground or to pretend that I am better than you. Nor am I directing this explicitly at any one person. All I want to say is that I have been hurt, but that it doesn't matter anymore. I only wish that I could meet with each of you to say this in person.

How pertinent that this should come up during Easter. I forgive you, just as I was forgiven. I love you, just as I was loved. I release you from the burden of hate and guilt, just as I was released.

For the people who loved me always, to my family and friends, I want to say thank you, and that I love you too. Though I may not see all of you, and some of you I may never see again, I still love you.

And of course, the greatest thanks be to God, who knows my heart better than I can ever know, and who loves me beyond my own capacity.

Have a happy and relevant Easter.